The dating scene is evolving, and with it comes a slew of new trends that singles need to navigate. One such trend that has recently emerged is ‘Ghostlighting’.
This dating phenomenon is a brutal combination of ghosting and gaslighting, two practices that can have a significant emotional impact on the person on the receiving end.
What is Ghostlighting?
Ghostlighting is a term that describes a situation where a potential love interest suddenly cuts off all communication without any explanation or warning after building a relationship. This is known as ghosting.
The individual then further exacerbates the situation by denying that they ever ghosted you, leading to confusion and a sense of disbelief. This denial phase is referred to as gaslighting, a form of emotional manipulation where information is twisted to make the other person feel delusional.
The Psychology Behind Ghostlighting
According to relationship coach John Kenny, individuals who engage in ghostlighting often carry a lot of unresolved issues. They may reach a point in their relationship where they are unsure how to proceed, lack the communication skills to express their feelings, or have found someone else.
These individuals often exhibit narcissistic traits and may have been love bombers before their retreat.
Red Flags to Look Out For
If you suspect that you’re being ghostlighted, there are several red flags to look out for. These individuals often try to shift blame onto others and act defensively.
They may deny any wrongdoing and react with indignation when their behavior is questioned. They may also change their stories to convince you they’re right and make personal attacks when questioned.
How to Handle Ghostlighting
If you find yourself in a situation where you believe you’re being ghostlighted, it’s crucial to confront the person and then cut them out of your life. There’s no reason to continue communicating with someone manipulating and gaslighting you.
Don’t be afraid to call them out, but be prepared for them to shift the blame back onto you. Remember, you’re not to blame for their issues, so stand your ground and walk away.
FAQs
Q: What is ghostlighting?
A: Ghostlighting is a dating trend where a person cuts off all communication without any explanation (ghosting) and then denies that they ever ghosted you (gaslighting).
Q: What are the red flags of ghostlighting?
A: Red flags include the person always trying to shift blame onto others, acting defensively, changing their stories, and making personal attacks when questioned.
Q: How should I handle being ghostlighted?
A: If you believe you’re being ghostlighted, confront the person and cut them out of your life. Stand your ground and remember you’re not to blame for their issues.
Q: Why do people ghostlight others?
A: People who engage in ghostlighting often carry a lot of unresolved issues and may lack the communication skills to express their feelings. They may also exhibit narcissistic traits and may have been love bombers before their retreat.
Q: Is ghostlighting a form of emotional abuse?
A: Yes, ghostlighting is a form of emotional abuse as it involves manipulation and gaslighting, which can make the other person feel delusional.
The dating world is complex and ever-evolving, but by understanding the latest trends and red flags, you can navigate it with more confidence and protect yourself from emotional harm.
