Knowing what to say or do when someone you care about is grieving following a loss can be challenging. Since the severe pain and challenging emotions can make individuals uncomfortable about offering help, they frequently also feel isolated and alone in their mourning.
You could be worried about interfering, saying the wrong thing, or provoking your loved one during this trying time. You don’t have to know the answers, be able to offer guidance, or say and act in all the proper ways. Being there is the most crucial thing you can do for someone who is grieving. It’s crucial to be adaptable and receptive to someone else’s grief process.
That being said, if ever you find yourself in a situation where you are needed by your peers, family members and loved ones to support them and be there for them while they are going through a tough time, hopefully by reading further on, you can implement the following little things to provide some comfort to those grieving.
Know What To Say
Even though many of us worry about what to say to someone who is grieving, listening is actually more crucial. However, the mourners must feel that their loss is understood, that it is not too painful to discuss, and that their loved ones won’t be forgotten.
One day, they might want to cry on your shoulder while on another, they might prefer to vent, sit quietly, or reminisce. You can understand from the bereaved what they need by being there and respectfully listening to them. Being present and attentive to them can be a tremendous source of solace and healing.
Don’t Force Optimism On Them At The Moment
As much as you would like to put a positive spin on the situation and want your loved ones to not kick themselves further down in such an unfortunate situation, it is often recommended that you allow them to take their own time to get to terms and process their loss or accept their situation.
Don’t Make it About Yourself
Regardless of how you interpret their situation, or what you know of the situation, do not link it with your experiences or opinions.
Indeed, it is human nature to share your own story with someone but in situations like these, what your near and dear ones need is you to listen more and just be there.
Don’t Diss How They Feel
Everyone is entitled to feel the way they do and grieve the situation as per their own understanding. However, if you respect them and understand them, then you must not belittle the way they grieve or the way they feel.
The bottom line is that if someone is sad, they are sad. Hence, if you do not find yourself to be in the mental space to give your mourning loved ones the strength they need, then you should not force yourself to do so.
Offer Hope
People who have experienced grief frequently recall the person who gave them comforting hope, the assurance that things will get better, and who assisted them in making the slow transition from agony to a revitalized feeling of life.
However, avoid being overly flippant as this could make the bereaved individual feel even more alone.
Call to offer your condolences
Avoid saying things like “it’s God’s will” or “it’s for the best” unless the person who has just lost a loved one does so first. After the initial few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling, your friend or relative might need you even more. Occasionally check in simply to say hi.
Avoid Judgments
Life and emotional circumstances for your friend have undergone a significant, possibly permanent change. Even while you might want them to, you can’t force them to leave or even speed up the process. Give your friend space to recover at his or her own time and in their own way. Suggestions like “you should cry” or “it’s time to move on” aren’t all that helpful.
Allow Them To Cry
Possessing the ability to express one’s profound sadness and permit oneself to grieve is one of the most crucial parts of the grieving process. Allowing your friend to cry demonstrates to them that you are aware of how crucial crying is during the grieving process.
Although it may be tempting to encourage your friend or advise them not to cry, keep in mind that crying is a necessary component of grieving and healing. People are frequently discouraged from crying as a result of the discomfort others feel when they see that much suffering. Consider the tears as an essential component of the healing process.
Don’t Force Your Faith On Them
It might be motivating to share your religious or spiritual beliefs with a friend or loved one who is mourning in order to make them feel better. Resist the impulse to discuss your beliefs with your friend, even though you want them to experience the comfort and tranquilly. If a buddy inquires about your religious views, be honest in your response but don’t force the issue.
Don’t Be Scared To Mention The Deceased
People may mistakenly believe that bringing up a loved one who has passed away will distress the grieving. Most mourning people do want to talk about and reflect on their lost loved ones, and by doing so, the healing process is facilitated.
Ask questions about the departed loved one, such as what their interests were. Inquire about the memories your friend holds dear. Perhaps you are one of the few individuals with whom your friend feels comfortable discussing their loss.
Conclusion
Although grieving can be excruciatingly painful, the majority of people (between 85% and 90%) discover that they can eventually learn to live with their loss with the help of their family, friends, and personal resources, and do not require professional assistance.
However, there are times when the circumstances surrounding the death—such as a traumatic, unexpected, or abrupt death—may have been extremely upsetting.
In other cases, there may be additional factors that contribute to the mourning being particularly acute or difficult. If over time, your friend or relative appears to be having difficulty managing their daily life, you can propose that they seek professional assistance.
