Looking At Things Differently: Attention Seeking
The truth is that we all require attention. Wanting attention from others is a basic human trait. Social assistance has seen results in form of improving health.
What if getting attention isn’t the problem we believe it is?
Mental health issues are sometimes disguised and dismissed as “attention-seeking actions.” Before diving into this subject it is imperative to address this and eliminate the myths surrounding it.
Any of the following “attention-seeking habits” are major problems that require the person’s full support:
- Suicide sentiments, ideas, or ideation;
- Eating Disorders;
- Activities involving self-harm;
- Anxiety attacks; and/or
- Behavior that is manic, high-risk, or self-destructive.
Also Read: What Men Need to Know About Anxiety and Mental Health
Reasons for Seeking Attention
To quite the contrary belief, the majority of known and unknown motivations for seeking attention are healthy and even beneficial. When is it healthy to want attention, and when does it become the problem that many believe it is? To determine this, one needs to understand why either themselves or others are out there seeking attention.
The Need to be Seen
The need to be noticed is a usual reason individuals desire attention, and it’s not a terrible one. You deserve to be felt and seen.
One could be majorly successful and even then be seeking attention or one could be quiet and still trying to be seeking attention.
It’s possible that one feels misinterpreted or that others are unable to see the extent of their mental distress. Nobody can judge the extent how much a person can feel isolated or unheard. In that circumstance, it makes sense to act in a way that draws more attention to oneself so that one is seen and heard.
Perhaps your family was hectic and emotional when you were a child. Maybe everyone yelled, or maybe you were only heard if you screamed, wept, or otherwise acted out. As an adult, you probably have more say over who you spend your time with than you had as a youngster. Even if you don’t raise your voice, you can surround yourself with people who will notice or rather acknowledge and listen to you.
The Need to Feel Helpful
Attention seeking might appear as a desire to be excessively helpful. It becomes a problem when it shifts from wanting to be helpful to wanting to be seen as helpful – or when it oversteps into trying to change individuals who did not ask to be changed.
Problematic attention-seeking may manifest as forcing yourself into situations or drawing attention to aspects of others’ lives that they may not perceive as problematic.
Everyone is unique, and you cannot make decisions for the vast majority of the individuals in your life. Extreme acceptance can assist you in accepting this fact. Understand that you have no influence over others and can only control yourself – and use this as a chance to focus more on yourself.
Also Read: Why Self-Care is Not Enough to Prevent Burn-Out
The Fear of Being Alone
Codependency, which is not to be mistaken with interdependence, can be harmful.
If your fear of being alone emerges in harmful actions (e.g., threatening self-harm to gain affection, love, and attention, or angry outbursts), it is time to make a change. Nonetheless, your dread of being alone is understandable, and you deserve to feel safe.
There are strategies to connect and build emotions of security in any healthy relationship. Working on attachment, seeking out others who want safe, stable ties, and asking for more can all help. You may, for example, request family-style dinners with friends, romantic nights with your partner, or healthy reassurance from a loved one.
The Need To Get What You Want
If you adopt certain actions to get your demands met, such as acting or speaking passive-aggressively, slamming doors, or yelling, it does not signal positive repercussions. But, this does not imply that the underlying cause of your conduct is incorrect.
When people do this expressly to gain attention or on the pretext of some type from another person, it often indicates that they are hesitant to speak what they genuinely need to say.
The truth is that we must communicate our needs to have them satisfied – it can be difficult to speak up, but you do not deserve to hurt yourself.
The catch is that you can’t change the people in your life. If someone is unable to meet your need, this does not imply that the need is invalid. Instead, it may be time to hunt for individuals who can meet that specific need, find a means to give yourself what you need, adjust your expectations, or do something else that fits the current situation.
Visual Read: How to Manage Anxiety and Panic Attacks
Conclusion
If you engage in attention-seeking behavior, there is almost certainly a recognizable need behind it.
The purpose could be to feel better, to express your suffering on the outside/by injuring yourself since it is difficult for you to communicate something you need to say through words, or anything else. When you need to communicate, you may shut down or become overwhelmed, resulting in silence, rage, anxiousness, or self-destructive conduct.
When you discover the cause for your behavior – which may take some effort, especially if it’s a long-standing pattern or if you have a condition that needs expert help – you can find a healthier way to achieve your goal.
Just remember that you are strong and that there is help available. People rarely act the way they do without a clear reason, and you aren’t broken. Try looking at attention-seeking conduct differently the next time you notice it in yourself or someone else.
