Relationships are at the core of human life. The day we are born we get bonded with our mother. We get introduced to other closer relationships within our family.
As we grow, we get the opportunity to make friends and know our extended family too. Further in life, at work, we get along with our colleagues, subordinates and seniors which also form a significant relationship in our life at that stage.
As we become old, caretakers play an integral role making them the people we start closely relating and depending upon too. This was just a typical description of the relationships we find in our life. There can be more or less in each life story.
But the thing to remember here is that relationships are an important part of our life and building relationships is, therefore, an art that we all must indulge in to live a happy, satisfactory and harmonious life with the important others in our life.
Whether we are young or old, male or female or any other age or gender, we all feel a need to keep our relationships with the significant others in our life, healthy, caring and most often loving.
So, the question now is how to build healthy relationships regardless of age and gender?
Emotional connect
We all experience emotions in our life and we all can agree that we feel good when we feel positive emotions with the people we relate to in our life. In other words, feeling loved, being loved and accepted by other people makes us feel good and vice versa.
So, it is important to maintain relationships with a meaningful emotional connection that generates positive emotions. We should not just expect to be loved and accepted but also try to make others feel loved and accepted by us.
Go one step forward to show love and acceptance regardless of what people do to you, what you expect from them or whether they reciprocate.
Being respectful
Respect has an enriching effect on relationships. When two people respect each other, each other’s choices and decisions, the chances of conflict are reduced to a large extent. And without conflicts relationships stay peaceful which adds a lot of grace to living together.
Respect should not be related only to age or seniority but for every fellow human being for their equal existence as ours. So, in relationships respecting the other person can be mutually uplifting.
Stay interested
How often used are we excited to start reading a new book or indulge in doing Yoga on the first day but the next time onwards many of us face lesser interest in following up.
We need to keep ourselves interested not just in doing tasks that are important but also show interest in other people who are a part of our life not just for a day or when we are free but consistently.
For example, while upbringing a child a parent should stay interested in teaching and guiding the child till learning takes place.
Talk openly and honestly
Opening hearts and minds can create spaces for fresh knowledge and understanding. Without outward communication, we may keep ruminating. It is very soothing to have someone to talk to freely and frankly.
Having open and honest communication with trustworthy people in your life can help you feel lighter, direct your thoughts in beneficial ways, and help you look at things from a new perspective.
Spend quality time
You may have come across this given as a suggestion to working parents while spending time with their children after returning home from work. But what is quality in quality time?
For parents, it would be more about having a child-centred discussion, asking the child what he or she has done in the day or how was the day, whether they liked or disliked something, etc. But if the parents start asking about homework to be done just because the teacher would hold the parents accountable eventually, it would not be quality time with the children.
Quality time for any one of us is when we are able to talk, ask, appreciate and encourage keeping in mind that all this is to be done so that the other person can benefit. When time is spent with selfish intentions or with an indifferent attitude it can cause a lot of emotional damage. It is highly recommended that we spend quality time with our family, friends and significant others.
Being Together
Enjoying a picnic, taking an examination, sharing a secret, facing an interview, running a race, having a party or almost anything under the sun could be experienced to the fullest and seems special because it is done in the presence of others. Imagine these same scenarios living in solitude.
Would they be the same? Not at all.
Togetherness has an affiliating effect which tends to help us not just in times of happiness but also when we are experiencing difficulties or difficult emotions. So, enjoy doing new, fun, challenging and healthy activities together.
Being a good listener while communicating
Speaking and talking should always be done along with good listening. Hearing, paying attention to and focussing on others’ words are sometimes essential for a relationship.
Every one of us wants to be heard in a relationship when we are talking. We should always be ears when someone is talking to us.
Agree to disagree
Know that we are human beings who hold varied beliefs, though and choose differently. We can think and act differently compared to others. No two human beings can do everything or anything exactly the same.
We should be able to show respectful disagreements. We can agree with the fact that we disagree with some of the things coming from others. Still, the bottom line is that we should stay connected regardless of the disconnections called disagreements.
Give and take
This is easier to know than practice. In relationships, we often expect things from others but forget to give something worthwhile to them. Relationships work longer when there is a fair amount of giving and take.
Tame the temper
Anger, hostility, violence, and aggression are all words and actions to stay away from if you want to keep a relationship. Even passive aggression is harmful to any relationship.
Healthy bonding is possible with self-control over temper. Deep breathing, art therapy, yoga, behaviour modification, etc. These are some of the techniques to learn to keep anger at bay.
Positive outlook
Positivity adds colours to life. Being charming, empathetic, motivated, encouraging, etc can help spread positivity. Even in times of stress, pressure and problems having a solution-oriented approach that comes with positivity are advantageous for growing a relationship. A positive outlook has a positive impetus.
