Understanding the Tactics, Signs, and Empowering Strategies to Escape the Clutches of Manipulators
Professor Len Bowers defines manipulation as the process by which someone deceives, coerces, tricks, or instills fear in others to obtain what they desire.
Because manipulators only think about themselves and don’t consider the needs of others, they differ from positive social influence. Fair influence does not involve using someone just for personal gain. Instead, you acknowledge their needs and feelings while persuading them to agree with your viewpoint.
How Do People Manipulate Others?
Because of their pain, inexperience, or wounds, people can be manipulative. Instead of freely relating, they frequently react nervously. They don’t have the interpersonal abilities required for constructive relationships. They either never acquired these qualities—self-awareness, humility, empathy, and a willingness to accept accountability for one’s actions—or they have rejected them. The only way they know how to interact with people is through manipulation.
ALSO READ: A Guide to Recognizing and Escaping Manipulation in Your Life
Naturally, that is not a comprehensive list. Furthermore, it’s not always simple to tell when someone is attempting to control or manipulate you; the more cunning a manipulator is, the more difficult it is to predict their ultimate goal.
Nonetheless, it’s critical to have a general understanding of what to look for because manipulation can be heavily damaging.
Clinical psychologist Margaret Singer identifies six requirements that must be met for mind control to occur in an individual. The following are how some would attempt to manipulate others:
Keeping the individual in the dark
This kind of manipulation involves psychologically coercing the victim into altering their behavior to further the manipulator’s goals. The ultimate objective is for the target to follow the manipulator’s instructions. Parental alienation ultimately results in harm to the targeted parent. In other situations, the ultimate objective is to satisfy the manipulator’s desires for dominance and power, as well as their wildest dreams.
Manage the social and physical surroundings of the individual
Mind-control manipulators give their victims plenty of structure, guidelines, and tasks to ensure that they stay focused and on task.
ALSO READ: Work Ethic with Balance: Exploring Success and Preventing Burnout in the Modern Workplace
Make them feel as helpless as possible
The target’s perception of reality becomes unstable as their sense of helplessness grows, leading to a decline in their ability to make sound decisions and comprehend the world. Cognitive dissonance occurs when the victim’s worldview is attacked by the other group members. Discussions about this are prohibited. Parental alienation portrays the empathic or “normal” parent in a negative light.
Conditioning: To obtain what they want in the future, manipulators may “condition” someone into forming a relationship with them through intimacy, flattery, or sympathy.
Abuse of authority: They might try to weaken the standing of people they wish to control by utilizing hierarchies or power structures.
Guilt: Tricksters may attempt to “guilt-trip” victims into complying with their wishes. Guilt-inducing behaviors can be overt, like saying things to make other people feel horrible, or passive, like using body language or vocal tones.
Shaming: To exert more control over their victims, manipulators may employ sarcasm or putdowns.
How Do You Avoid Being Manipulated?
It is highly recommendable that one takes the following actions if one suspects someone is attempting to be manipulative in the relationship:
Be mindful and receptive. Is this person trying to take control of my decision and force me to behave in a certain way? Remember that exhortation—strong encouragement—and manipulation are two different things.
Establish and uphold sensible boundaries: Give up following the manipulator’s instructions. Boundaries prevent harm to you and have consequences for those who attempt to cross them. The more destructive the manipulation, the more stronger the boundaries must be. Until their unhealthy manipulative behaviors stop, you may need to put yourself and the other person at a greater physical or relational distance, or even cease all communication.
Conclusion
You might combat them by recognizing the areas of vulnerability in yourself that they could exploit and by recognizing manipulative tendencies. Be firm and establish personal boundaries so you are aware of what you will and will not put up with when someone is controlling you.
ALSO READ: Confidence Redefined: Breaking Free from Self-Doubt – Men’s Edition
If you must confront manipulators, be clear about how their actions undermine the team and point out the bad behaviors you have seen. Furthermore, if required and possible, make sure they receive the assistance they require to change and hold them accountable.
